My First Kenyan Wedding
was a big vibe 💫
THE BIG DAY IS HAIR!
The main reason I was in Kericho was to attend my friend Stella’s wedding. To say I was excited is an understatement, especially since I have never been to a wedding in Africa that didn’t involve a Nigerian. And now that the D-day had finally arrived, everyone was bubbling with excitement. The bridesmaids’ outfits and styling orchestrated by Umazi was breathtaking to say the least. Stella’s headgear was so immaculate that she had to sit in a slightly reclined chair on her way to the wedding, with head mildly tilted to keep it in one piece.
As soon as we arrived at Stella’s family compound with wedding guests comprised of the bride & groom’s family, what seemed like the entire neighborhood came to welcome us! We parked outside and as we walked up the road, our procession essentially turned into a make-shift parade with a throng of women, cultural dancers and well-wishers singing and dancing on their way to meet us. Their sonorous voices sounded like a choir with faces flush with joy and excitement. One thing that stood out to me during the entire ceremony was the sheer number of dancing and singing that was ever-present. It was only matched by a lot of the talking that happened during the formal aspects, like when (the groom) Adrian’s Dad introduced family and friends mainly from the U.S and Canada as well Stella’s Mom leading the bulk of speaking duties on behalf of her family.
There are 42 tribes in Kenya and of all of them, Stella is Kalenjin. Kalenjin families have an animal totem referred to as tiondo and a clan name called oret. Stella’s family animal totem is the monkey and their clan name is Kapsabul and Kamago. Typically there’s only one clan name, but for five decades, her father’s family has been unable to decide which to pick (it’s kind of cool to have two if you ask me).
For weddings, the groom’s family as is the customary expectation in many African tribes, had to pay a dowry. The dowry ceremony was actually done via zoom because of the pandemic and as a matter of convenience with both families being so far apart in the world. During the wedding, we took a “cow break” to acknowledge the cow that was given to seal the dowry downpayment that was made earlier in the year. In keeping with tradition, specific gifts were given to Adrian such as the rungu (to signify the head of the family) and whisk (to signify leadership).
Initially, the colorful, celebratory and traditional aspects of the wedding are the parts of the experience that I expected would resonate with me the most. However, as the wedding weekend came to an end, I found myself reflecting and being moved on an additional aspect that I didn’t anticipate. A few days leading up to the wedding, including my visit to the Tea Institute which I spoke about in my previous post, I spent most of time with some of Stella’s friends, since a good number of us were staying in the same resort.
This also included bridesmaid crew of Maureen (Stella’s sister), one of the two Sandra’s, Hilda, Umazi and Jovita, all of whom I journeyed on the road-trip from Nairobi to Kericho with. We bonded through conversation and in some cases un(shared) experiences. Hilda and I had multiple conversations including one about her wearing a cornrows/braided hairstyle for the first time during the wedding and my unsolicited suggestion that she keep it when she returned to work in Germany, regardless of how her supervisors might react.
Her brother Chris or Bakungi as his friends call him became my ace as we instantly connected, as he regaled me with stories of growing up in Germany of both German and Madagascan origin and his first visit to the latter country to meet his Dad’s family. Hede, her sister became our official photographer during our visit to the tea institute and she set about capturing Chris, Maris and I for what looked like it could be a casting picture for MTV’s Real World.
Speaking of Maris, if the city of New Orleans needed a spokesperson ambassador, they need to hire her asap because within 3 minutes of meeting her, she is quick to rep her city. This was more that alright with me because if you spend enough with me, I might tell you about the countless times I have overdosed on char-grilled oysters during my 5 visits to crescent city as it is fondly called.
I also had a great time getting to know Matilde and her family during our time visiting the tea farm. Matilde often hosted Stella during the holidays while she was studying in Italy and couldn’t afford to go home for the holidays. In fact, many of Stella’s bridesmaids like Hilda, Jovita and Maris all became friends during their time at the United World College (UWC) in Italy (UWC Adriatic), a program that exists in 18 different countries which brings 16-18 year old high school students around the world to school together as well as promote peace and unity. Two of the other bridesmaids Jesina (UWC Wales) and the other Sandra (UWC Swaziland) also attended UWC and it is clear that those connections have lasted through time.
In many cultures and countries, weddings are a BIG deal and if you are of Nigerian origin like I am, it’s even done on a BIGGER scale. One thing I have to say about Stella’s wedding was how it exposed me to a new tradition and such amazing people. I have not known Stella for long but it is clear that she has developed friendships and bonds that are quite genuine and remarkable. At her wedding it was on full display with all 9 of her siblings present (shoutout to Maureen, Helen & Edmund for providing the vibes) and what a wonderful feeling it is when friends travel from far and wide to celebrate you.
As we all embark on what I hope is an amazing year for many of you reading this, remember to hold your family and friends dear. Take the time and effort to call, email and visit because time is precious and should be spent with those we care about. And for estranged family and friends you might have, maybe this is the year to reach out with an olive branch in hope that they can rejoin your familial tree.
Thanks again for reading and your comments on my last post was so inspiring and thought-provoking..please keep it coming 🙏🏿. And as always you can expect more content from the wedding on my instagram. And stay tuned for the next edition as I take you to Mombasa, Kenya’s oldest city which was formed circa 900 AD. I can’t wait!
What a wedding! It was a great time to finally meet Stella's friends after connecting with them through zoom calls. Ayo, you captured all the details in this article...I mean this is a great way to bring the picture closer for those who didn't attend.
I look forward to more weddings...especially from the west 😜
Detailed and entertaining.
African culture is always a delight in whatever form it is showcased.
Your ability to capture the activities and dramatis personae is very apt and rich.
Good luck.